A Tale of Two Dimensions
by Dr-Lovekill
Summary: Written in the POV of an OC named Dr. Drake, who accidentally brings Tak into our dimension. If you like IZreal life crossovers, this one is quite realistic. Review, please.
1. Chapter 1: Crossing the Fabric

A Tale of Two Dimensions

Rated T for language and scientific jargon

_I've thought about doing this one for some time. The basis for this story started when someone asked me if I though interdimensional travel were possible, and I, being both a scientist and a rabid Invader Zim fan, replied: "If you had the know how and the right technology, and with the proper application of physics mankind doesn't even understand yet, you could probably bring Tak into our world if you wanted to." Then, I started thinking: What if? What would be the implications of such an act? So, I wrote this. In this story, an OC (yes, he's based on meeeeee!), is able to create a device that opens up a tear between dimensions. In doing so, he brings Tak into our dimension, and just what ensues? Read on to find out. I do not own Invader Zim or Tak, but the OC's Ana and Ashton are mine, and especially the one that technically IS me just renamed with better funding._

CHAPTER ONE: CROSSING THE FABRIC

"Is the proton accelerator coming along?" I asked, turning to Ashton, my lab assistant, scribbling numbers into my notebook.

"It's calibrated and uplinked to the Cray bank now." Ashton replied, not even looking up from his computer screen. His workstation, like his clothing, was meticulous, a sign of someone who still thought appearance was the key to being a good scientist. He had short, blonde hair, and wore a labcoat over a starched white shirt and red tie, black slacks and shined oxfords. I, on the other hand had long black hair, tied back into a ponytail, wore a wrinkled lab coat, a dark grey shirt unbuttoned far enough to show my silver druidic sun necklace pendant, black jeans, and a pair of black dress shoes that fastened with a single strap and buckle, and looked as though they came from a victorian era doctor's closet. Why not? After all, I was in charge of the lab, a semi-well respected scientist even at my young age. Not many people find themselves in their mid 20's running a lab with people that are ususally in their thirties and fourties. Propriety be damned, If I can get away with it, I do it.

"Ana!" I called. A young woman poked her head out from behind a small bank of Cray supercomputers. Her black hair was in double braids, revealing her four silver rings in each ear, and black-rimmed eyes. She blew a bubble gum bubble through her black painted lips, popping it loudly.

"You bellowed, Dr. Doom?" She said with her usual sarcastic chipperness. Her calling me "Dr. Doom" all of the time was cute, but rather annoying.

"Ana, if you're quite finished, could you bother checking the Element 115 in isolation? I need it ready for proton bombing as soon as possible." She gave a small, cheerful salute. "Thank you...Abbey." What? I could call her names of fictional characters I thought she resembled, too. She gave me a narrow-eyed glance, and stood.

"So are we testing today?" She asked.

"If everything is ready _for_ a test." I replied. Hint, hint. Ana turned and walked toward isolation, her knee high combat boots resounding on the tile floor.

"I don't know why you put up with her, Doctor Drake." Ashton said, turning from his computer.

"She's good at what she does." I replied, checking my notes.

"She's a smart aleck."

"She's a genius." I corrected.

"She's goth." He stated.

"Really?" I said facetiously. "All I see is a brilliant ITT graduate who can program Crays and work out bugs better than both of us combined. She's one of the best programmers I could get on our budget, and I think I got more than my money's worth. Dress, principles or way of life have nothing to do with it."

"Yes, sir." Ashton said sheepishly. "Sorry." He turned back to his computer and began typing again. I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. I would have to get a brilliant computer programmer and a highly dedicated theretical physics expert, and have it turn out to be the bloody Odd Couple. I walked across the lab and plopped into the chair in front of my computer. I read and reread the numbers for what seemed like the ten-millionth time. If my theory was correct, then introducing dark matter into a contained area of space at just the right level might actually counteract the known laws of space and time. Because matter and antimatter react like an acid and a base, I was hoping that the resulting reation may induce a sort of wormhole effect, like a manmade black hole. I admit, it was a little reckless, but I was attempting to open a portal into another dimension.

The only problems with this plan were that: A) If the calculations were incorrect, even by the slightest degree, the procedure would unleash a power greater than an atom bomb, and it would be the 1908 Tunguska blast all over again, and B) We know nothing of other dimensions, nor of what might live therein. So, we could be responsible for creating a hundred killometers of destruction, or unleashing a twenty meter cybornetic scorpion on the world. Well, they say the fun is in the exerimentation, huh?

"It's all prepped, Dr. Drake!" Ana called, reentering the room. "Element 115 is ready for particle bombardment. Are we all gonna die?" I heard Ashton sigh angrily.

"Shall we begin, Dr.?" Ashton asked. I stood and closed my eyes in indecision. The moment of truth. The first test of all of our hard work. I sighed.

"Seal the test chamber, Ashton. Ana, I want all data loggers doing what they do best."

"Logging data?" Ana said sarcastically. I raised an eyebrow to display my newfound impatience, and Ana walked quickly to a large computer, and began typing furiously. The computer gave a beep to assure that all systems were in working order.

"Do you want me to get on the phone?" Ashton asked.

"No." I replied. "I don't want the investors here until we're sure of our progress, and if it goes critical, I'd rather the rest of the team not be demolecularized. No, it's just us three. Ashton, fire the big harlot up if you would." Ashton typed in a command. The computer accepted the command, and a whirring from the sealed room in the back broke the stillness of the lab. Ashton typed in his password, and clicked "excecute". The whirring became more pronounced."

"Powering up, sir." Ashton said. He stood to join me as I walked to the foot-thick safety glass window overlooking the experiment. Ana joined us, and the three of us watched as the enormous cylinder hummed loudly behind the thick walls of the room. Without the soundproofing of the walls and glass, our eardrums would've probably been bleeding out of our ears at that point, a constant reminder of the power we were working with. The huge machine now emmited a deep, constant whir. It was ready. I turned to Ana.

"Do it." I said solemnly. Ana grabbed the large switch on the wall. I inserted a key into the safety lockout and turned it. The lock disengaged with an audible click, then a beep. We all looked at each other nervously for a moment. "Go."

"Here we are now." Ana muttered. "Entertain us." She threw the switch, and there was a sound like a deep, booming roll of thunder. Several loud cracks made us jump. The cracking became louder and closer together until it resembled a deafening ripping sound.

"Christ, bloody hell," I shouted over the din, "The whole bleedin fabric's tearin' open!"

"Kill it?! Kill it?!" Aston was screaming.

"No!" I yelled back "It's ripping open reality. It's what we want!" Ana stood, her teeth clenched, a look off fear on her face. Suddenly, there was a blast, resembling a sonic boom from Hell. The entire building shook, and we were thrown to the floor.

I stood and looked around. Nothing seemed to be destroyed. I noticed that the sealed room was filled with a pale smoke or fog, which seemed to be dissipating.

"Am I dead?" Ana asked, standing. "Do I look dead?"

"Only every time I see you." Ashton replied, straightening his tie.

"At least I know I'm not in heaven." Ana said cockilly. "'Cause you're here, neatfreak."

"Oh, just..."

"Quiet you two!" I ordered. They turned toward the glass that I was peering through intently. "I think there's something alive in there." Ashton immediately ran to a computer monitor.

"No radiation, and no biological contaminants are present..." He paused and looked at me wide-eyed. "There _is_ something in there." It took a moment for the statement to register in my head. It was a success! We'd brought something through! I ran to a locked metal cabinet, and punced in a four digit access code. The lock disabled, and I threw oppen the doors. I reached in, and retrieved a shotgun, still unsure as to the nature of _what_ we'd brought through. I handed Ana a large duffel bag of first aid gear, and we turned to the room.

The room was still a little foggy when we entered, the overhead lighting giving the room a sinister glow through the vapor. We walked along the catwalk beside the proton accelerator, toward the "Stargate" as we jokingly called it. Through the fog, we could make out a form, laying on the metal floor, barely moving. I readied my weapon, preparing for God-knows-what to leap up and try to bite our faces off. We cautiously crept upon the form, when Ana dropped the duffel bag, and put her hands over her mouth, stiffling a very emotional laugh. I looked at her questioningly, then looked back to the form on the floor. Green skin, two black antennae, purple and black clothing. There was something odd. Something I couldn't put my finger on. The figure stirred, and two purple eyes slowly opened, looking at me weakly.

"No." Is all I could say. Ana was still giddy. She nodded happily and giggled. I turned again to the creature. Invader Zim, the cartoon, the bloody cartoon! It couldn't be! "No, it...it's...

"It's Tak." Ana said happily. Upon hearing the name, the being looked up at us questioningly. It pushed itself up on it's arms, attempting to stand. It gasped.

"Help...me." It said, then collapsed.

"Wha...what's wrong with Tak?" Ana said, worried. I knelt beside the creature, feeling for a pulse, shining my penlight into her eyes.

"Balls." I muttered, half panicked. "I think she's dying. Ana, we've got to get her back to the lab. NOW!" Ana slung the duffel bag over her shoulder and grabbled Tak's ankles. I grabbed her wrists, and we lifted her off of the floor. I was surprised at the lightness of the creature, but we had no time to bother with such thoughts. We hurried toward the lab, carrying Tak between us.

"What the hell?!" Ashton said in surprise as we burst into the lab. "Is that a...cartoon?"

"Well, it's not a bloody cassaba melon, Ashton!" I said in annoyance. "We've got to get her on life support, stat." Ashton nodded, and rushed to the medical room, returning with a metal gurney. We lifted Tak onto the gurney. She was unconscious, and breathing in jagged, raspy gasps. Ana held Tak's small hand in hers, and I could see tears forming in her eyes. We rushed the gurney to the room set up for biological research.

"She's bad." Ashton said, placing diodes on Tak's now bare chest. "She's got a dangerously low pulse, breathing's erratic and shallow..."

"Adrenaline." I ordered. Ashton handed me a syringe from a cooler. I popped off the cap, and plunged the needle into Tak's heart, injecting the adrenaline into her system.

"How much are you giving her?" Ana asked, still holding Tak's hand. "Will that kill her?"

"God, I hope not." I replied. It wouldn't do for my first successful experiment to die on the table in my care.

"What's wrong with her?" Ana asked emotionally.

"My guess is, crossing the fabric into our realm isn't like crossing the threshold from one room to another. Her body isn't built for our dimension, where all rules are different." I inserted a tube into Tak's mouth, directing down her throat, working it into one of her lungs. Ana cringed, while Ashton connected the hose to an air supply system, and switched it on. He looked at me, and with his eyes, motioned toward Tak.

"Look at her skin, Doctor." He said gimly. I noticed it too. In fact, I'd noticed it before. The black outline around Tak was fading, while her green skin was becoming darker. I racked my brain for an answer. Then, it hit me.

"Of course!" I excaimed, making the others give me a puzzled look. "She's becoming real! We tore her from a world...uh, rather a universe, a dimension where everything was animated. The laws here are different. Her body is trying to adapt to our world. Ashton, what does physics teach us that everything is constantly trying to find?"

"Equilibrium. Balance."

"Right!" I laughed. "Her matter is rearranging to suit the physics of our reality." We watched as the dark lines faded out on Tak's body, and the color of her skin became more realistic. She began to look more and more like a real being.

"We've...we've got to call someboby." Ashton said.

"No!" I exclaimed. "We're not calling anyone yet. This is our find, and until we're well and trully certain of the outcome, no one is to know." Okay, so I get a little of the mad scientist in me sometimes, but we had Tak, on a table, in a biological research room, in a lab built to bring biological entities across a dimensional portal, in a world that would probably burn us at the proverbial bloody stake for what we'd just done. What would you do?

"Doc," Ana said softly. "I think she's waking up." Ashton and I looked at Tak as she faded finally into a real-looking alien being. Her eyes slowly opened. I looked into the dark purple eyes. They narrowed in confusion. Then, suddenly, she sat up. She coughed and gagged, and feeling the tube in her mouth, pulled it out, and with disgust, threw it away. She began coughing. She looked around, panicked. Looking down, she realized that Ana still held her hand. She jerked it away and curled up with her head on her knees.

"Who are you? Where am I?" She asked, both anger and fear in her voice. She looked at her skin and shrieked. "What have you done to me? I'm an Irken invader, you know! I'll make you pay. I'll..."

"Tak." Ana said comfortingly. Tak looked at her suspiciously.

"Who are you, and how do you know my name?" I stepped closer.

"It's a long story, I'm afraid, Invader Tak."

_ Well, Tak has been brought into our world. What will happen now? I won't give it away, you'll just have to read more and find out yourself. So, what did you think? I'm trying not to get too scientific with this one, and later chapters will be...well, better. Review, please._


	2. Chapter 2: A New World

_Okay, I'm back with another chapter. This one has more Tak, less science, I promise. Enjoy this chapter, and don't forget to send reviews. I need some bloody reviews! Don't make me drag my carcass to your house and beg you on hands and knees for your input. 'Cause I'll do it! I'm just off my nut crazy enough to do it, mate. Anyhow, I don't own Invader Zim. If I did, I'd be Jhonen, and I'm just not that cool. Read away, and enjoy._

CHAPTER TWO: A NEW WORLD

"What do you mean, I'm a fictional character?!" Tak screamed angrily. Ashton, Ana and I backed up to the wall, not to provoke her wrath any more than we already had. "Huh? Do I look fictional? What is this? You kidnap me, drag me into this laboratory, shove tubes down my throat, strip me naked and presume to tell me I'm a _fictional character_?!"

"She's been going on like this for five minutes now." Ana whispered in my ear. I cleared my throat. Tak became quiet, but glowered at me with all the anger of the furies.

"Tak," I said calmly. "What I'm saying is, that in our dimension, you are a fictional character on a cartoon called 'Invader Zim'. In your dimension, you have a life, feelings, enemies, and all of that, just as we do in ours. I'm not saying you're really _only_ fictional, because, well, here you are. But to us, in this world, you are an animated character. Well, until now. We brought you into our dimension. Understand?"

"I'm no idiot, you know." Tak remarked bitterly. "I understand physics and interdimensional travel, so don't talk down to _me_ like a smeet. I understand the situation, alright, but...wait a minute! Invader _Zim_?! Zim?! The show was called Invader ZIM?! How did he get a show?! Zim's the biggest idiot in the Irken empire! He couldn't conquer a can of soda with a death ray! What exactly was I on this show of Zim's?" Ana looked at me with a "we're screwed" face.

"Um," Ana began. "You were kind of, sort of...only in one episode." Correction: screwed royally. Tak shook with anger, her hands clinched in fists, her teeth bared.

"Whaaaaat?!" She screeched. "Only...one...aaahhhhh!"

"But," Ana said, defensively. "It was a really great episode, and you were...are like, my favorite character. They were gonna bring you back in a later episode, but the show got cancelled and stuff." Isn't Ana great? Now another correction: srewed royally in a Porta-Toilet with no Charmin. Tak flipped over the metal gurney. Ashton tried to lunge for her, but Tak lept out of the way, and Ashton ended up falling over the upset gurney and knocking over a rack of test tubes. Tak hopped over the gurney, and stomped up to me. Intimidating, yes, but it's well and truly hard to be afraid of someone who stands chest high on you, and is wearing a white sheet.

"What have you done to me?" Tak growled. "Send me back _now_." I grinned nervously and mumbled something under my breath.

"What was that?" Tak asked.

"We, uh, we can't." If looks could kill, I would be disemboweled and fed to jackals right now. "We kind of brought you through by accident, and, well, sending you back is...not an option." I thought at that moment that she would explode in anger, killing all three of us, and burn down the city. Instead, to my surprise, she fell to her knees and looked around.

"I'm...I'm stuck here?" She asked no one in particular. "I'm..." She began crying into her hands. Ana knelt beside her, and put an arm around her small frame. I stood in silence, suddenly shamed by the result of my work. Ashton stood, dusting himself off, and looked on sternly. What had I done? I, too knelt beside Tak.

"Tak," I said softly. "I'm sorry. I made a mistake. I..." I sighed, looking at Ana. "Tak, consider yourself a guest, an honorable guest. You are welcome to our facilities. I know that it doesn't quite make up for everything, but if you need anything, just say it, and we'll do our best." Tak looked up at me.

"I want to see the show."

Three hours later, Tak and Ana sat in front of Ana's computer monitor, watching Invader Zim, Tak's eyes filled with emotion. I stood, watching from across the room, still semi-stunned from the entirety of the situation. Remember, Alexander Grahm Bell's first words over the telephone were "What hath God wrought?". Remember that Alexander the Great wept on the day he realized he had it all, and there was nothing left to conquer. I felt like changing my name to Alexander. Ashton joined me, drinking a Mountain Dew.

"What are we going to do about this?" He asked.

"We're not going to do a damned thing about it." I replied coldly.

"We need to call someone."

"It was a mistake. No one is to know. She has feelings, you know. She's a sentient being with feelings and a soul. What are others going to do? Strap her to a sodding table and cut her open like a rat? Lock her in a cage naked and humiliate her with tests and anal probes?" I saw that Ashton's head had dropped sadly, and he realized what a phone call could really mean. "Results be damned, Ashton." I said. "I won't let that happen. If it had been a six foot purple snapping turtle, I wouldn't have a problem, but do you want to tell her a bunch of scientists are coming to take off the top of her head, just to have a peek inside?"

"So, what is the plan then, Doctor?" We were interrupted by a burst of laughter from Tak and Ana.

"Zim is a complete moron!" Tak laughed. "Mutant vemin? That was his plan this time?" She burst into laughter again. I smiled and looked at Ashton. He was smiling as well as he turned toward me.

"Nothing." He said, nodding his head in agreement. "Nothing at all." He turned and walked off. I joined Tak and Ana at the computer.

"So Tak, enjoying our world yet?" She turned, a small smile on her face.

"Aside from the fan writings that have me made out to be a cheap harlot, I guess it's not so bad, but I've only seen the inside of this lab so far." She replied. "And Ana is kind of a good companion...for a human."

"Touche, Tak." Ana said, smiling.

"Doctor...Drake, was it?" Tak asked.

"Yes?"

"Would it be possible for me to see...you know, the rest of the world?" Oh bollocks. How to answer that question. She was a green skinned, purple eyed alien invader from a cartoon that had a huge cult following. She would stick out like a sore thumb, and be recognized by every uber Invader Zim fan, goth kid, and Nickelodeon junkie in the whole city.

"I don't see why not." Welcome to the internal workings of my brain. "But, you'll need a disguise. Ana, Zim is your favorite show, so this is your area of expertise."

"Can you still generate a holographic disguise?" Ana asked instantly. Brilliant. I need her around every time I bring a cartoon character into our dimension. Note to self...

"I suppose I can." Tak replied. She hopped off of the chair, and turned a tiny knob on the small metal tube implanted in her head. Tak seemed to fade into static-like lines, and before our eyes, she transformed into the likeness of a thirteen year old girl with dark blue hair and pale skin. Some would have been amazed at the sight of such a thing. After what I had experienced in the past few hours, I don't think a winged, flying pink potato would've shocked me too much.

"Ni-hice." Ana said, surfer-like. "Just like the show. There's only one problem." She pointed at Tak's body. Tak looked down, and realized she was still wearing the sheet.

"Um," I said. Your boots are still wearable. We kind of had to cut the other clothing off of you when you were dying and all. We'll get you some more clothes when we go out. Until then, I think we have some scrubs that might just fit."

"Those were my Irken issue clothes, you know." Tak said coldly.

"It's okay," Ana said. "We'll get you some better clothes. And we'll get them at the greatest store in all of our dimension." It's sometimes better _not _to ask.

A few minutes later, Tak was dressed in a set of light purple scrubs that actually fit her nicely. And they said XS sized scrubs were a waste of money. She wore her knee-high buckle boots, and it took some arguing to get her to wear them _under_ the pants, as to not attract unwanted attention. To complete the disguise, I pinned a temporary security tag onto her lapel, similar to the ones we all wore in the lab.

"Ashton!" I shouted. Ashton came running from the break room, working on another Mountain Dew. "Come on, we're all going out." I grabbed the keys to the lab's own private vehicle, and led the group toward the exit.

"We're taking...it?" Ana asked dryly. Tak looked at us both questioningly.

"What?" Tak asked. "What is _it_?" I smiled at my own private joke.

"To the Batmobile!" I said proudly.

The "Batmobile" was a black 1998 plymouth voyager with "Institute for Theoretical Physics Research" on the front doors in white letters, an Albert Einstein bobblehead on the dashboard, and a bumpersticker which read "I like pi". Yes, it was a real lady getter. I slid open the rear door, allowing Tak and Ana to cimb in. I got in the driver's seat, and Ashton climbed in the front beside me. I started the minivan's engine, and put on my seatbelt.

"Ladies and gentlemen," I said, adjusting the rearview mirror. "Please make sure seatbelts are securely fastened, ans traytables are in their upright positions."

"Jesus, this isn't the Batmobile!" Ana said. "And don't do that thing you do." Do it? Okay.

"Ready for some fun, Tak?" I asked.

"God, let me drive." Ashton muttered.

"Don't do it." Ana warned.

"Let's have fun." Tak said, smiling evily. I floored the accelerator, and the van shot forward amid the squealing of tires. I hit the shallow runoff dip hard, bouncing the van and its passengers violently. I sped between two poles, with inches to spare, and onto the graveled half of the parking area. I rounded the main building going fifty, nearly turning the voyager completely sideways on the gravel. Tak lauged maniacally, while Ashton gripped his seat fearfully, and Ana shouted obscenities from the back seat. Laughing at the old Batmobile routine, I turned onto the road, and headed toward the city.

_Now, wasn't this chapter better? I'm a man of my word afterall. I hope I'm not slaughtering IZ too much with this. After all, it's just the ravings of a mad scientist addicted to Invader Zim and Monster Assault energy drinks. Oh, and science, the paranormal, the X-Files, and good Tom Selleck movies (Quigley rocks! If you haven't seen it, do so!) But anywho, Please review so that I know my work isn't total garbage. _


	3. Chapter 3: Painting the Town

_I can't say this story has been an immediate smash hit so far, but, oh well. Like it or not, the story goes on. Things really start to move forward in this one, so if you're still with me, read on. I don't own Invader Zim or Tak, Hot Topic, or any of the brands, corporations, or real world entities I portray herein, except for the three OC's, the cop, and the research laboratory._

CHAPTER THREE: Painting the Town

"Welcome to the great city of Austin." I said after a long drive consisting of Tak's war stories, Ashton's complaining, and my trying to introduce Tak to the music of Green Day.

"It's...beautiful." Tak whispered as she looked up at the tall black glass skyscrapers, the millions of lights, and the artistic styling of buildings and statues that make up the better section of Austin.

"Yeah, it's rather nice aesthetically." I commented, talking loudly over the song 'Warning', "But this place is about as bloody dangerous as sleeping in a tent full of rattlesnakes."

"Not that he has any experience with snakes or tents, of course." Ana said quietly to Tak. Tak chuckled at the joke.

"Hardy blinkin' har." I said dryly, looking in the rearview mirror. "So where are we wanting to go, anyhow?"

"Turn up here." Ana instructed. "Now keep going. Take the next exit." It continued like this for about ten minutes, until Ana directed me into the parking lot of a huge shopping mall. I pulled into a parking space which seemed to be about 6.4 light years from the entrance. You know what I'm talking about. It was a Friday evening, for God's sake.

"The Mall?" I asked, turning around in my seat. "You're showing Tak culture by taking her to a _Mall_?"

"The best cross-section of our society is right here, blithely shopping for overpriced luxuries in a climate contolled environment." Ana said confidently. Tak looked at Ana, then to me.

"What is a _Mall_?" She asked.

"The MALL!" Ana announced as we entered the Mall's main door. Tak glanced around at the seemingly endless number of stores stetching on forever, or at least a couple of hundred yards. "Come on, let's get you some cool clothes." Ana grabbed Tak's hand, and began half dragging her as she enthusiastically dashed down the row of businesses. Ashton and I looked at each other and sighed, then ran after them.

Needless to say, we got stares. Tak dressed in purple scrubs, Me still in my labcoat (I did say that I do what I want), Ana in her black tank top, miniskirt and knee boots, and Ashton still as prim and propper as a Picadilly Street barrister, all of us wearing our lab badges. We walked together down the row, until Ana abruptly stopped, and gasped in joy.

"There it is, the Death Star." She was referring to a store that looked dark, probably due to the fact that it was filled with more black clothing than a Danzig concert. A red neon sign read "Hot Topic". Ana pulled Tak into the store.

"'Ey," Said a teenage goth girl, greeting us from behind the counter. "Whaddya guys need today?" She eyed my labcoat, then Ashton and Tak as if we were beings from the great beyond. Ana broke the ice.

"I just need some clothes for my little sister here. Think we can hook her up?" The teenager came from behind the counter, and looked at Tak, mentally sizing her.

"Yeah, I think we can find something cool for her." She said. She looked back at Tak. "Nice hair, sweety. Cool color job, too. Anyone ever tell you that you kind of look like Tak from Invader Zim?" I slapped my forehead and drug my hand down my face.

"Invader Zim is so awesome." Tak said in a sweet, girley voice. "And I think Tak is just the coolest. Do you think I could get some clothes and stuff that's as cool as my sister Ana's?" I think mine and Ashton's jaws hit the floor. She was good. The clerk walked to the back to retrieve some clothes, and I joined Tak and Ana.

"That was some good work, Tak." I said, impressed. Tak smiled.

"I'm an invader. I know how to fit in without making so much as a ripple." The clerk came back with a pile of clothes, which she lay on the counter.

"Have you seen our Invader Zim stuff?" She asked, holding up a teeshirt with a picture of Zim on the front. I saw Tak's eye twitch.

"Actually," Ana said, trying to diffuse a potentially dangerous situation. "Do you have something a little less...cartooney?" The clerk held up a black tank top with a skull and crossbones on the front. Tak's eyes lit up.

"Perfect." Tak said. "What else do you have?"

Tak stood before us, wearing the black tank top, a black and purple miniskirt, black and purple stiped armwarmers, a black, studded choker, and her buckle boots. She had painted her lips dark blue, matching her hair, and rimmed her eyes with black eyeliner. All in all, a $200.00 makeover, but it was worth it.

"Oh, good God, Ana," Ashton remarked. "You've made her goth." Ana bit her lip and giggled. These were scientists, now, lest you forget. People who are supposed to be professional thinkers. People who get paid very well to make rational decisions to benifit mankind. But if I say any more, I'd be a hyppocrite.

"You look absolutely...stunning." I said. Tak's eyes met mine, and she smiled softly. I smiled back. Tak blinked as though breaking out of a trance.

"Thank...you, I guess." She said, turning away. Ashton looked at me with a look of "what the hell are you doing?", and I shrugged as if to reply "nothing". Ashton sighed.

"I'm starving to death." He complained. "Lets get something to eat while we're here."

"What would you like, Tak?" I asked. "Pizza, burgers...pizza burgers?"

"I can't eat your filthy Earthen food products!" Tak exclaimed. "Are you _trying_ to kill me?" I looked at Ana.

"Little help?" I said. She was the expert. She thought for a moment.

"Waffles!"

Tak eyed the huge belgian waffle on her plate. She began poking it cautiously with a fork. I paused to watch, a roll of sushi halfway to my open mouth as she treated the waffle as if it were a nuclear warhead.

"It's okay," Ana said. "Trust me. Zim can eat them with no trouble, so my guess is, they're safe for all Irkens." Tak cut off a small piece of the waffle, and speared it with her fork. She slowly brought it to her mouth, and began chewing it experimentally. She swallowed the bite and raised an eyebrow.

"Hmm. I'm not melting yet, and it tasted pretty good." She took another bite, then another. "I kind of like this delicacy." She picked up the entire waffle, and began to eat it like a large slice of pizza. "Do you think you guys can mix up a batch of Irken soda?" She asked in between mouthfulls. I looked at Ashton and Ana, and shrugged.

"Sure," I said. "What's in Irken soda?" Tak thought for a moment.

"Carbonated purified ammonia, organic cane derived syrup sweetener, artificial burnt sweet cane flavor, an alkaloid stimulant, and phosphoric acid." She said. Ana began laughing, while Ashton sat with a look of disgust on his face.

"It's..." Ashton said, putting a hand to his mouth. "It's...Pepsi-flavored Windex." Ana laughed so hard, she snorted. I laughed lightly for a moment at the comic scene.

"Yes, Tak." I said, still grinning. "I think we have everything at the lab to produce such a...beverage."

"What?" Tak asked, annoyed at being left in the dark about something funny about her. "What is so funny? Don't you people drink soda?"

"Yeah," I said, eating another piece of sushi. The salmon and black seaweed sushi is really delicious. "But we're water based, so ammonia is to us what water is to you." Tak smiled a bit. "We make soda out of carbonated _water_. To us, ammonia is a...window cleaner." Tak looked around the table at us for a moment, then burst out in laughter.

We left the mall, pulling out onto the main highway. We drove down the road, explaining to Tak about what we do, how things are, and a hundred other things we felt were vital for her to know. I was rambling about exactly why Tak shouldn't blow things up and decapitate people, when we were interrupted by the sound of a siren behind us. Checking the rearview, I really couldn't _help_ but notice the police interceptor following us, its blue lights flashing. Tak looked back nervously.

"An Earth authority vehicle?" Tak asked. "A...po-leese?"

"I'm afraid so." I muttered, pulling the van over to the side of the road. The cruiser parked behind me, and out stepped someone I could only describe as resembling Sherriff Justice from Smokey and the Bandit. He walked authoritively up to the now rolled down driverside window, his hand on the grip of his holstered handgun. He leaned in the window and eyed all four of us angrilly, especially Ana and Tak.

"Ya know how fast yer goin back there?"

"No sir." I said instinctively.

"Well, you were goin' four mawls over the limit. Can't ya' read the signs?" Bloody great, a redneck deputy that probably hated us from the minute he figured out we were scientists. He probably hated anyone who could read over a primary school level.

"I'm really sorry, sir. I said. "I guess I was a little distracted." He grunted.

"Ah'd be distracted too if I had a couple a girls in the backseat done up like halloween. It's disgraceful how young women these days run around like that, dressed up like the Whore a' Babylon." Tak growled angrily from the backseat. The deputy looked back at her suspiciously. "Yall on somethin'?" he asked.

"No, sir." I replied. "Just trying to get back to work, you know." The deputy scoffed.

"Why don't you open up and let me have a look inside." He said, opening the sliding door. Tak immediately reached out and grabbed the deputy's arm.

"There's no problem here, officer." Tak said in a commanding voice, looking the officer in the eyes. For a brief moment, I saw a shimmer of white light pass across Tak's eyes. The deputy moved away slowly.

"I reckon there's no problem here." The deputy said, closing the door. "Yall go on yer way, and be careful." He returned to his car and sped off. I spun around in the seat.

"That was..." I exclaimed. "Bugger me, that was amazing! How did...you..." Tak smiled.

"I hypnotized him." She said. "I can do that, you know." A laugh escaped my mouth.

"You are amazing, Tak!" I stated. "God, I'm sort of glad we brought you through. You're...you're indescribable. You're beautiful! I could bloody well kiss you right now!" Tak lept forward, siezing my head in her hands, and kissed me deeply on the lips. She dropped back into the seat, leaving me feeling very confused and stunned. Ana sat, looking between Tak and I wide eyed and astounded. Oookay, awkward moment. Right then. I turned around, and started the van, pulling onto the road, and heading back toward the lab.

_A little much? Anyway, It looks as though there's going to be some romance in future chapters huh? You want to know why she kissed him, don't you? I bet you're just dying to find out, too. Well, crawl off and die from desire if you want, 'cause I reveal nothing. Please review before I get really desperate and go insane. Until the next installment, may the force be with you...I mean cheerio._


	4. Chapter 4: For the Sake of Sanity

_Okay, just because one bloke was kind enough to post a reply (you know who you are, thanks a million, mate), I'm going to post a new chapter. So read and enjoy. I don't own Tak, or any IZ character for that matter. Wish I did, but if hopes and dreams were bricks and mortar, we'd all live in mansions. Here's chaper four. Tally Ho!_

CHAPTER 4: FOR THE SAKE OF SANITY

I pulled the "Batmobile" into its parking spot, and shut off the engine. Three hours with little dialogue is a scary thing, if you've ever been in that situation. I stepped out of the van and coldly closed the door. The others exited the van, and I stoically walked to the main door, slid my keycard in the slot, and entered the lab. Walking to the break room, a pulled a bottle of Earl Grey iced tea from the refridgerator, and plopped down on one of the black leather couches. I took a long swig of the sweet beverage, still thinking about the kiss. What was that? Why did she kiss me?

"Ahem," Ana cleared her throat from the doorway. I looked up to see her leaned against the doorframe, lightly smiling.

"I don't know why you're in such a bad mood." She said. "Personally, I like kisses."

"Yeah," I replied, "Well, It's complicated, alright?"

"Tak's moping around the office. I think she actually likes you." I scoffed, and looked at the floor. Ugly tile.

"Tell her that I'm not mad. Tell her that I just..." I sighed. "It's not her. Maybe a few people would have a problem with being kissed by an alien from another dimension, but that's not it. I think I'd have a problem being kissed by anyone." Ana smiled, and walked over, sitting beside me.

"The stoical, apathetic Dr. Drake." She said with sarcasm. "That was a year ago. You need to let it go."

"Love's the greatest lie man has created for himself." I said. Ana looked at me sadly.

"No." She whispered. "It can hurt you, but it can heal you, too. Maybe it's time you gave it another chance." I stood.

"Thank you, Ana." I said without emotion. "I think we should all get some sleep now. It's been a long, wantonly bizzare day. Give Tak my bunk." The laboratory, being out of the way as it was, had small rooms with bunks for researchers.

"What about you?" Ana asked.

"I have some numbers to crunch. I'll be in my office late." Ana sighed. With that, I turned and left the room.

I stared at my computer monitor and grunted. I hate when things don't add up. I glanced at my watch. 2:34 am. Bollocks. No wonder I was so tired. Taking another sip of woodstain-grade coffee, I typed another set of numbers into the equation on the screen.

"You know," A female voice said from behind me. I liked Tak's voice. It was very british, very soothing. That I would admit it, though... "Humans need to sleep. Without rest, dementia can set in, even to the point of hallucination." I laughed lightly.

"Are you a hallucination, Tak?" I asked jokingly, as I spun around in my chair. Tak stood near the door, changed back into her Irken form, a worried look on her face.

"I didn't mean to...you know..." Her voice trailed off.

"Yeah you did." I replied. "But it's okay. Really. I have been wondering why, though." Tak looked into my eyes. She slowly walked closer.

"I don't really know." She whispered. "You're so intelligent, you know how to have fun, you're not too bad looking...for a human." I laughed. "I know it's wrong. And we're from two different worlds."

"Tak," I said, "I couldn't give a damn less that we're so different. I just...I find it hard to show these kinds of emotions."

"Ana told me that your mate left you."

"Yeah," I replied in a whisper.

"And that over a few Earth months afterwards, several members of your family group...ceased life functions from naturally occuring causes?"

"That's a good way to put it. Ana told you all of that, huh?" I asked, fighting repressed memories. Tak placed a black-gloved hand on my arm.

"Yes. She said that's why you act so distant sometimes, and why you stay here at the laboratory constantly. She says you're a 'work-oh-haw-lick'." I couldn't help but smile at Tak's pronounciation of the word. "You shouldn't be afraid." Tak whispered. "I always believed that you should never give up, no matter how hard the fight is." She put a hand on my cheek. "I'm sorry if I was out of line before." I leaned in, and we hugged.

"No, maybe I was." I said. We turned our faces toward each other. Our lips were nearly touching. We came together slowly, pressing our lips together. Honestly, logic and mathematics can't explain such a thing. All scientific thought and theory falls short of describing the perfect kiss. Maybe a poet can do it justice, but I won't even try. We broke the kiss, and pulled apart, our hands on each other's shoulders.

"Doctor..." Tak began.

"Please," I interrupted. "Call me..."

"I like 'Drake'." Tak whispered. "It means 'dragon' in an ancient human tongue."

"I know." I said softly. We looked deeply into each other's eyes.

"Drake." Tak said. "I...I..." We were interrupted by the door flying open. I upstarted in surprise at the intrusion, as two men in grey security uniforms entered the room. I could see four more in the hall. I pulled Tak behind me.

"What is this?!" I yelled angrilly. A older, grey-haired man in an expensive black suit stepped into the room. It was Mr. Fowler, the owner and chief financier of the lab.

"Dr. Drake," He said, smiling. "I'm glad to see that your hard work has finally paid off. And all this time, we were beginning to question your sanity."

"Mr Fowler," I said nervously. "Please, what is the meaning of this?" He looked at Tak, then back to me.

"You have in your company a being from another dimension. I have come to remove it to a lab where tests will be conducted in a proper_ scientific_ manner. Gentlemen, if you would please." The two guards shoved me out of the way, and grabbed Tak's arms. She struggled against their resolute grip, looking at me fearfully. I saw a metal, insect-like appendage leave the device on her back. She directed it through the shoulder of one of the guards, who immediately let go of her arm and fell to the floor in pain. The other guard pulled out a long stun baton, and fired it into Tak's side. She fell to the floor, unconcious.

"No!" I shouted, but before I could move, a large guard gripped my wrists from behind. Mr. Fowler casually walked up to me, still smiling.

"Dr. Drake," he said condescendingly. "You know a scientist is supposed to be objective in his studies. You're fortunate enough that I don't fire you on the spot. But in light of your brilliant discovery, you can stay on...for now." I glowered at him angrilly.

"How in the bloody hell did you know?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"Your man Ashton was dutiful enough to call me. Good man. He'll go far around here." I glanced over Fowler's shoulder to see Ashton standing in the doorway nervously.

"Ashton!" I yelled furiously. "You bastard!" Two guards helped the injured guard up, and led him past Ashton, out of the room. Two more handcuffed Tak, and lifted her carelessly. They carried her out, as I fought against the steely grip of the guard who held me.

"Thank you, Doctor." Fowler stated. "That will be all for now." He nodded to the guard, who released me, throwing me to the floor. Fowler and the guard left the room, dissapearing down the hall. Ana came running into the office, and helped me to my feet.

"God, are you okay, are you okay?" Ana asked frantically. "It was like the Umbrella Corporation in here, and they wouldn't let me...they took Tak...Oh my god, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I said coldly. Ashton slowly approached, his head hung low. I stared at him wrathfully a moment.

"Bastard!" I bellowed, punching him hard enough to send him to the floor. "Sodding traitor!" Ana grabbed me, restrining me from killing Ashton. "How could you do this?! Answer me, you spineless bloody wonder!" Ashton looked up at me from the floor, tears in his eyes.

"I didn't know." He said sadly. "God help me, I didn't know it would be like this." He sobbed lightly, and my anger subsided a bit. "They weren't supposed to hurt her. I'm sorry. Sorry. What have I done?" I looked at Ana.

"They're going to kill her." Ana said, tears streaming down her cheeks. I felt anger rising again, but not toward Ashton this time. "What are we gonna do?" Ana asked moroseley. "They took Tak." She sobbed. I put a hand on her shoulder.

"Then we go and get her back."

_Well, this chapter ended on kind of a down note, huh? What's going to happen to Tak? Oh, how I like keeping you in suspense. It just warms the cockles of my heart. Please, warm them even more by posting a review. The last line, I kind of borrowed from "Dog Soldiers", one of my favorite movies. It seemed like a fitting statement if delivered correctly, and I wanted to include it I hope you're enjoying this story so far. I'll try to post the next chapter soon, so 'till then,_

_cheerio._


	5. Chapter 5: Rescue

_Did you miss me? I've been rather busy of late, and haven't had much of a chance to write. In fact, several events occured which got me rather down, and I had considered ending the story where it was. Then, I happened to read the reviews, and was immediately cheered by the devotion some readers have to my story. So, I cast off my depressive funk, and sat down to write this, the next chapter in the continuing story that is "A Tale of Two Dimensions." Enjoy. _

_I don't own Invader Zim, Tak, or any corporation or entity depicted herein except for my OC's. Common sense, lawyer scum!_

CHAPTER 5: Rescue

They say "all's fair in love and war". This was both. They also say that fear gives men wings. I was afraid, I admit. Mr. Fowler had taken the being that we had all come to love. That _I _had come to love. To piss with the bloody consequenses, I had to get her back.

"Ana." I said, as the three of us walked into the main lab area. "Get on the grid. See if you can locate where they've taken her." Ana nodded dutifully, and drooped into a swivel chair in front of her computer, and began typing furiously at the keyboard.

"Ashton." I said grimly. "I'm still pissed at you, just so you know." He nodded sadly.

"I'm sorry, Doc." He said quietly. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I'll do anything to get her back." Ana looked up at him angrily from her computer, then began typing again.

"Good." I replied coldly. "Because we're gonna do anything to _get_ her back."

"Found it!" Ana exclaimed. "CenTex BioScience research center. They just logged in a new specimen marked "unknown" a few minutes ago."

"CBTS. Fowler's little personal science project warehouse." I said. "Can you hack the main security, specifically clearance codes?"

"On it." Ana muttered. I turned to Ashton.

"I want you to load up the EMP gun, some medical supplies, tools, and everything we have in the weapons cabinet into three duffel bags." Ashton silently went about his orders. I walked to Ana's station. "Got it?"

"Just about...and...yes, we're in."

"Get me the codes for every security checkpoint we'll have to get through." Ana brought up a screen with a set of numbers.

"I'll do one better." She said. "This is the skeleton key. This code will unlock any door in the place." Ashton came limping up, burdened by the fact he was dragging three loaded duffel bags. We each slung one of the weighty bags over a shoulder.

"The Batmobile?" Ana asked.

"No." I replied. "We're taking _my_ car." We exited the lab, and loaded the bags into the trunk of my beloved black 1977 Trans Am (Yeah, you know the one, Bandit's Car. I like _Smokey and the Bandit_, so what?). Ashton slipped into the back seat, while Ana climbed into the passenger side. I dropped behind the wheel, and turned the key. The car's powerful engine roared to life, and I took out half of the wooden "employee parking" sign on my way out of the parking lot.

The guard at the front gate of the CTBS facility gave us little trouble, once he saw our I.D. cards. Apparently, Fowler hadn't told him to revoke our access. Screw up on his part. He waved us through as he lifted the too-standard yellow and black striped bar, and I drove through.

Entering the parking lot, I parked as close to the front door as possible. If you've never tried to be up to something, without looking like you're up to something, then I wish you luck. We unloaded the duffel bags, I typed in Ana's enchanted code, which thankfully worked, and we entered the lab on our clandestine quest.

My heart dropped when I saw her. Tak was in a small laboratory room marked "Biohazard". We entered the room, which at the moment, was free of any researchers.

"Tak?" I said softly. She sat in a small cage, her knees pulled up to her chin, her eyes closed. She rocked gently back and forth. She had been stripped of all of her clothing, and I could see signs of recent "research" on her body in the forms of needle tracks and scrapes on her body from small tissue removal procedures. She didn't respond.

"Tak." I said, worried. Her purple eyes opened, and she looked at me sadly.

"Drake." Her voice sounded weak and hollow. She slipped a shaking hand through the bars of her cage. I grasped her small green hand in mine.

"My god, Tak." I sighed. "What have they done to you?" Tears filled her eyes, and she looked away.

"They..." She quaked. "They strapped me down. They...god, I was still...conscious. I think they wanted to know everything...you know, about my body. The scientists...I don't know what all they did. I'm so...c...cold." She began sobbing lightly. I turned to the others, tears in my eyes.

"Get it open." I said angrily. Ashton pulled a small set of bolt cutters from his bag, and cut the lock on the door of the cage. Ana opened the door, and I reached in, picking up Tak like a small child. She weakly put her right arm around my neak, and buried her head in my neck, crying.

"What now?" Ashton asked. "We can't walk out like this, I think _somebody'll_ have a problem with it." I gently lowered Tak to her feet.

"Can you walk?" I asked, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"I'm...good, Drake." She said softly, attempting to regain her composure. "I'm alot better now that you're here." I smiled and knelt in front of her. I kissed her gently on the forehead.

"We're getting you out of here, love." I said. I reached into my bag and retrieved the shotgun, tucking it under my labcoat (No, I never take it off, happy?).

"Tak!" Ana called. "I found your clothes!" She held up a clear, vaccum-sealed bag she'd retrieved from a counter. She hurried accross the room, opening the bag, and quickly helped Tak into the garments. Now fully dressed, Tak seemed to be in slightly better spirits. Ana hugged her tightly. "I missed you so much!" Ana exclaimed. "Oh, I was so worried!" Tak struggled out of Ana's bearhug, and placed a hand gently on her shoulder.

"I missed you too..." Tak said, smiling. "Sister."

"What the hell?!" A voice shouted. I turned to see a scientist standing in the doorway. He reached for his radio, and I quickly brought out the cannon from underneath my labcoat, and the labcoated researcher froze.

"I wouldn't do that, mate." I said seriously. "Not unless you have plans on being the bloody headless horseman for Halloween." There is a good reason why scientists aren't action-movie stars, you know. "Step in." I said. The scientist slowly raised his hands, and stepped into the room.

"You won't get away with this." He said fearfully. "This facility is full of armed guards. You'll be caught before you make it to the main doors. You..." A flying centrifuge hit him in the head, and the scientist fell to the floor, knocked out cold. I turned to see Tak smiling evily accross the room.

"That was the sick human who was so curious about my reproductive system." She commented angrily.

"Unidentified flying lab gear...bravo." I said, smiling. "Let's go." We left the room, and walked casually down the hall. This plan lasted about ten seconds.

"Hey, you!" A guard called from down the hall behind us. We broke into a dead run. There was a gunshot, and a chunk of wall exploded next to us.

"They're shooting at us!" Ashton yelled. "They're really shooting at us!"

"Did you think this would be a walk in the park?!" I called. We rounded a corner and kept running. Just as we reached a small cove inhabited by vending machines, two gurads appeared ahead of us, armed with automatic weapons.

"Bloody shite!" I yelled. Lovely british take on the word. Fits the bill in just such an occasion. We dove into the shallow room as a burst of gunfire errupted on the tile floor. I stuck the barrel of the shotgun out around the wall, and fired a a round, just to show that I meant business as well. At least it would hold them off for a while.

"What are going to do?" Ana asked from her tactical position, curled up next to a Pepsi machine.

"I dunno." I replied. "Looks like they very well have us dead to rights." Tak looked around, her eyes locking on a ventilation duct on the ceiling, just above the snack machine. I followed her gaze, and read her mind.

"Can you do it?" I asked. Four metalic legs sprouted from her pack, and she climbed on top of the vending machine.

"Buy me a few seconds." She said soldierly. I fired the shotgun blindly down the hall twice. The guards answered with another spray of bullets. "Drake!" Tak called. I looked to behold the grate falling to the floor, cut like a plasma cutter had been used. I saw the tips of two of Tak's spider legs glowing white. And I thought she was going to unscrew it.

"Leave the bags! Ashton, Go!" I yelled, and fired again.

"There gonna catch us. We're so screwed." Ashton whined.

"Get up in the damn duct before I wear your face like a sodding halloween mask!" I ordered.

"I hate small spaces." Ashton mumbled as he climbed upon the machine, and into the duct. "Probably hasn't been cleaned in..."

"Ana, you next!"

"I...I can't." Ana sobbed, still balled up in the corner. "I can't." Bollocks. Tak lept from the machine and put an arm around Ana.

"You have to." Tak said calmly. "It's going to be okay, Ana. Do you trust me?" Ana nodded. "Good. Then you have to get into the duct, okay? I'll be there with you." Ana slowly stood, and Tak helped her onto the machine. She looked back at Tak, the crawled into the duct.

"Drake, come on!" Tak yelled. I fired the last round, then dropped the shotgun, and moved quickly to the machine.

"You go first, Tak." I said.

"You go first, Drake." Tak argued. "GO!" I quickly surmounted the snack machine, and entered the duct. It was larger than I anticipated, and there was actually room to turn around, which I did. Tak began to enter the duct, then yelped in terror as she was nearly pulled back out. I moved over to her, and grabbed her arms. Below, an angry Mr. Fowler gripped Tak's right leg with both hands.

"You'll not get away from me!" He bellowed. "Friends or not, you're mine!" I pulled at Tak as she fought against Fowler's hold. She looked into my eyes fearfully.

"Tak," I grunted. "Your spider legs." She closed her eyes, and a single spider leg extended from her pack, and plunged into Fowler's shoulder. He roared in pain, and let go of Tak. I hauled her into the duct, and we began crawling. Despite the semi-darkness, I could see Ana up ahead.

"Ana?" I whispered.

"You and Tak all right?" She asked.

"Yeah, we just ran afowl of Fowler back there."

"Ha. Ha." Ana said dryly.

"Could you go, _please_?" I retorted. We began slowly making our way through the ventilation system. After nearly a minute of crawling, the parade stopped.

"Ashton!" I quietly called. "What the devil is it?"

"The duct ends here." Ashton whispered back. I did a quick calculation in my head.

"Good." I said. That means were near the front door. All we have to do is..." The duct groaned. "Oh fu..." The bottom of duct gave way under our combined weight, and all four of us fell ten feet to the floor. I caught my breath, and slowly stood. "I'm alright, We're..." I then saw the ten knightstick-armed guards standing between us and the door. "In a really bone spot." The others and I drew in close, and I pulled Tak behind me like a herd of cape buffalo ready to defend their young. If they wanted Tak, they'd have to...well, they looked like they wanted to do it.

"Release the...thing," The leader of the group of guards stated. "And step away with your hands up."

"You nazi posers want her," I sneered "then come and get her." The commander gave a hand signal, and the guards began advancing toward us.

"Here we are now." Ana muttered. "Entertain us." As the first guard moved in to attack, Tak pushed me aside. She lept into the air, and delivered a powerful kick to the guard's chin. He stumbled backwards and fell. Two more guards lunged forward. Tak dove from between them, and they collided comically, yet painfully. Tak siezed their batons, and twirled them expertly, hitting both guards in the head. Ana kicked a guard in the stomach, doubling him over, and I finished him by delivering a knee to his face. Tak parried a blow from another guard's stick with one of hers, then brought the other against his skull. She then struck him in both shoulders, and he collapsed onto the floor.

Ashton had backed away from the fray, watching anxiously. A guard grabbed Ana by the throat. I attempted a chokehold on the guard, which resulted in him letting go of Ana, but also throwing me over his shoulder onto the floor. Pain. He raised his nightstick ominously, when I heard an ungodly shriek. Ashton, screaming like a banshee, speared the guard, sending them both to the floor. Ashton began punching the guard.

"Yeah!" He screamed as he hit the guard. "Not so...tough...without your...club...huh?" He lept to his feet, and screaming his bloodcurdling shriek, charged at two more guards. Tak was engaged in a stickfight with two guards. Their two weeks of training were no match for her lifetime of combat expertise, and soon she had both guards on the floor bleeding. We stopped to watch as Ashton dodged a guard's baton blow, and retaliated with a solid punch to the guard's nose that would've made Muhummad Ali proud. Ashton then headbutted the guard, who fell. The last guard pulled his pistol, but before he could use the weapon, Tak launched a baton like a missile, hitting the guard between the eyes. Unconscious, he slumped to the white tile.

"Bleedin' Hell, Ashton," I laughed. "I didn't know you had in in you. He smiled and shrugged.

"It's kind of like Vader's redemption, you know?" We all looked at him questioningly. "What? You know, like at the end of 'Jedi'? Vader ends up saving...What?" We exited the building, leaving the guards moaning on the floor.

"Tak!" I exclaimed in the parking lot, picking Tak up in a hug. "You were spec-frickin-tacular in there! The legs and the grate, and the baton fight like a bloody highlander, and the..." I kissed her on the lips. She put her arms around me, and the kiss became a deep, intimate expression of a trillion and one unsaid words. We broke the connection, and stared into each other's eyes, smiling.

"Aww," Ana said sweetly. "You two are so good for each other." Loveable Ana. There was a click from behind us.

"How sweet." A familiar voice commented coldly. We turned. Fowler. He stood, still bleeding from the wound in his shoulder, but holding a small handgun, which was leveled at me. "And I thought you scientists weren't supposed to get emotionally involved with your experiments."

"She's not an experiment." Ana said through clenched teeth. "She's our friend."

"Well," Fowler said sarcastically. "Pardon the hell out of me. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm taking back what's mine. Dr. Drake, put her on the ground. Don't make me kill you." Tak and I looked at each other sadly.

"It's okay." Tak whispered. "I'll go." She smiled evily and winked. I slowly sat her to the ground.

"Now, get back!" Fowler commanded. I stepped back, raising my hands. Fowler walked to Tak. "Now, greenie, you come with me, and I won't have to shoot your boyfriend." He smiled at me. "Now, doctor. My advice to you: walk away."

"For the head of a bunch of scientists." Tak said to Fowler. "You aren't too smart." She flipped into the air, and kicked the gun from Fowler's hand. It skittered accross the pavement. Tak glowered angrily at Fowler. "Now I'm gonna do to you...what you did to me." Her four metal legs extended from the pack, and, in an instant, had completely shredded Fowler's clothes from his body. He backed away, whimpering in embarassment.

"You...rabid monster." Fowler said. "Just wait. You'll not win this. All I have to do is give the word, and I'll have the army, the CIA, the FBI..." He locked eyes with Tak. I saw the white flash move across Tak's eyes. Fowler stood silent for a moment. "Potatoes are my friends." He said. "I swear, there are beans in my food. Hahaha."

"What did you do?" I asked, smiling, as I knet beside Tak.

"I just convinced him that he was insane. I don't think anyone is going to believe him now." She embraced me in a hug. "Serves him right. Nobody messes with the Irken elite." I leaned in, and kissed Tak on the cheek.

"What were you going to tell me earlier?" I asked. "Back at my lab?" She smiled lovingly, and placed her forehead against mine.

"Drake," Tak whispered. "I love you." We kissed deeply.

"I love you, too." I said. "Now let's get out of here."

"Yeah, there's a crazy guy here, alright." Ana said into her cellphone. "You'd better come right away, he's acting really..."

"Beetlebugs, beetlebugs," Fowler sang

"Wierd." She hung up the phone. "So, where we goin', Dr. Doom?" I looked at Tak. She flipped the switch on the tube, assuming her human form.

"Anywhere we want."

_I'm sorry. It stinks so bloody bad! It...it's horrible! This is why I only write tragedies, I am terrible at happy endings! Anyway, review, so that I may know how bad it really is. I may do another chapter, just for closure, if enough people so desire._


	6. Eplilogue: A new Beginning

_It seems at least one loyal reader has requested an epilogue to this story, so I will wrap the fic up with this chapter. To the one who requested this: thank you for your insight and advise throughout this work, mate. You've been nothing short of helpful. Now, onward, upwward, forward to the last installment of "A Tale of Two Dimensions." I don't own...oh to bollocks with it, if you haven't got it that I don't own IZ yet, my lawyers cost more than your car. Bwahahahaha. Anywho, here it be..._

Epilogue: New Beginnings

I stepped off of the plane in Cambridge. I inhaled deeply the air of the mother country, and smiled. I turned as Tak exited the airliner, dragging a rolling suitcase.

"500,000 years of evolution," She said, irritated "And that Air-o-plane is the best flying machine your specie has come up with." I chuckled lightly.

"Sorry," I replied, smiling. "Turbulence, you know."

"God, I hate flying." A voice whined. Ashton stepped off the plane, with Ana close behind, rolling her eyes "So where _is_ this university, anyway?"

"Ah, Dr. Drake!" A voice called. An older man in a tweed suit approached. He took my hand, shaking it vigorously. "So wonderful to finally meet you. You are one of the top minds in your field. When I heard you were available, with a complete team, no less, I said to myself: 'I've got to get the good doctor to run my research facility.' And, well, here you are."

"You must be Professor Walsh-Goodwin." I said to the cheerful older man. "I'm honored you chose to hire me." He smiled coordially, and looked at Tak.

"Well, hello, my dear," He said. "And who might you be?"

"Oh," Tak said in her girly voice. "I'm Ana's little sister, Kat (original, huh?). Pleased to meet you, Professor. I've read your paper on theoretical object teleportation. "

"She's really quite brilliant." I remarked. "She's interning with us. I think she has a future in our profession."

"I'm sure she'll make a fine addition to the team." Professor Walsh-Goodwin replied. "Come, let me take you to your new laboratory facility. Dorms are located within the building, and vehicles will be provided for your use. I have transportation standing by now. Come, come, come, we mustn't dawdle." I turned to the others.

"You guys ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." Ashton replied.

"You know," Ana said, smiling. "I've always wanted to live in England." She took Tak's hand, and we began walking toward the front door of the airport. We stepped outside into beautiful downtown Cambridge, with its eclectic blend of Victorian and modern architecture. We were hurried into a two waiting Land Rovers. Tak and I climbed into the back row of seats in one. The driver put the vehicle into gear, and pulled out onto the street. I looked out the window as we cruised along, and released a gentle sigh. It was a new beginning. A new beginning for us all. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and smiled.

"I love you." Tak whispered softly into my ear. I put my hand on hers. I take it back, this was the beginning of something really wonderful.

_Awwwwww. Now doesn't __that__ just warm the cockles of your heart? It warms mine. Mine are flaming like downtown Chicago in 1871. Anyway, what did you think? Questions? Comments? Flames? Come on! Anyway, I'm busy with a supposed chupacabra right now, and though I think it's just a hideous coyote with sarcoptic mange, I still have to investigate, so I may not be able to post a new story for a while. So until then, cheerio! _


End file.
